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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27742870">Hit The Diff - A norn iron Princess Tutu au</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PearCider/pseuds/PearCider'>PearCider</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Princess Tutu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bomb scare, F/M, Fluff, Northern Ireland, Shopping, Slice of Life, biscuit discourse, early 2000s northern ireland, nanowrimo procrastination, norn iron au, oneshots, rubbish - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:40:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,455</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27742870</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PearCider/pseuds/PearCider</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern day Princess tutu oneshot collection set in Northern Ireland from the early 2000s until today. Written to procrastinate writing my actual NaNoWriMo project and to get an easy few hundred words out.<br/>Mentions of bomb-scares and the troubles.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ahiru | Duck/Fakir (Princess Tutu)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Fakir likes Rich Tea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So we have bread, green milk, pot noodles, some flour… do we need anything else? I know I should have written down a list but I just couldn’t find a pen anywhere!”<br/>
“Idiot, just use the app I put on your phone.”<br/>
“I guess I completely forgot about that. It’s just so hard to use! I can never find out how to add another item to the list.”<br/>
“I’ll show you how to do it when we get back.”<br/>
“So… what do we need or are we done?”<br/>
“Charon’s coming over to visit so we should probably get a packet of biscuits and some tea. I think we’re out.”<br/>
“Okie dokie! Hey! The Christmas stuff’s out already!”<br/>
“We just walked past three Christmas trees and you’ve just noticed?”<br/>
“Let’s go see! I want to buy one of those novelty scrunchies Lillie always wears!”<br/>
“We don’t have enough time! We can come back tomorrow.”<br/>
“You big mean Scrooge.”<br/>
“Okay, could you grab a box of PG Tips?”<br/>
“Why would you ask me something like that? We always get Yorkshire Tea? PG Tips tastes terrible!”<br/>
“It’s not like you can taste it anyway with the amount of sugar you spoil your tea with. Charon’s collecting the labels to get new teapot.”<br/>
“That’s no reason to drink bad tea!”<br/>
“You drank nothing but Punjana for a while just because of the jingle!”<br/>
“Pick Punjana Tea! Pick Punjana tea! Savour the flavour, big tea flavour!”<br/>
“And the only reason you’re drinking Yorkshire Tea now is because of that Big Brave Bill song from that festival you made me go to last year.”<br/>
“Just think of what poor Mrs Dobbins would think if you served her PG Tips!”<br/>
“Fine, we’ll get both. Happy now?”<br/>
“mmm-hhh!”<br/>
“Ok, biscuits then we can get back.”<br/>
“Let’s p-p-p-pick some Penguins!”<br/>
“We are not subjecting Charon to you telling him those awful jokes again.”<br/>
“But Fakir-“<br/>
“We’ll just get the every day value digestives.”<br/>
“You monster! Poor Charon doesn’t have that long to live and you would feed him bad digestives? That’s nearly as bad as rich tea!”<br/>
“He’s fourty eight! And what’s wrong with rich tea?”<br/>
“Do I even know you Fakir?”<br/>
“Urgh. If you’re so picky why don’t you choose? Anything except the Penguins. Please do not p-p-p-pick up a penguin.”<br/>
“These will be great!”<br/>
“Wait, just two seconds ago you were complaining about me wanting to get everyday value digestives.”<br/>
“These are completely different! Why would you buy branded gingernuts? They’d just fall apart in your tea and then you’d be left with that awful, dreadful sludge at the bottom! No, no, no. These ones are the ones that we are going for.”<br/>
“Ok. That’s us. Let’s go before you change your mind again.”<br/>
“Ooh look Jammie Dodgers!”<br/>
“No!”<br/>
A/N<br/>
I suck at dialogue so have decided to write this to try and do some practice. Yes it reads horribly, but I need to work on each character having a unique voice and this is the only way I could think of practicing doing that.<br/>
Shame on anyone who thinks Rich Teas are an acceptable biscuit to serve to guests. Don’t worry, Duck will learn how to make fifteens in a later chapter!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Late to School</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a chilly day. A thick fog had settled over the park as Duck ran down the path towards her school. She shivered a little. Her uniform’s blazer was too thin to provide any real heat and she absolutely refused to wear the scratchy woollen jumper the school mandated that she wore if she absolutely had to wear something warmer. She didn’t care too much about how she looked, but even she thought that that was a step too far and it itched too much.<br/>She was late to school. Again! Her alarm had failed to go off and her grandfather hadn’t thought to come upstairs to wake her up, instead deciding to stay downstairs and read the morning paper with a cup of tea. When she eventually woke up she discovered that she was set to be almost half an hour late to school. She tumbled down the stairs and instead of her grandfather being sympathetic as she definitely thought he should he merely laughed at her predicament and said she looked like she had been dragged backwards ten times through a shuck.<br/>“He wasn’t wrong though,” Duck thought to herself as she raced around the corner. In the rush to get to school she accidentally put one thick black sock on instead of her usual navy knee length ones and she had barely enough time to plait her hair before running out the door. The teacher’s would not be pleased.<br/>She checked her watch as she rounded another corner. She would be about half an hour late. That meant that if she could sneak passed the prefects she might be able to get to registration at the same time as all her classmates coming back from assembly.<br/> It was a Thursday and Thursday assemblies were always the longest. Mr Cat took them and had a terrible habit of forcing the students to stand ages as he went on and on. It was fine during the winter, but during the summer in the hotter months Students began to faint from the heat. Personally Duck found it dreadful, but her friends Lilie and Pique loved nothing more to keep count every time it happened. As far as she could remember the record was six in one assembly. <br/>“I’m almost there!”<br/>But as she turned the last corner to get to the school gates she was shocked to see her two friends Lilie and Pique walking towards her away from the school gates. She rearranged her backpack on her back causing a great jingling from all the keyrings that she had attached to it and then ran up to meet them.<br/>“Hi Duck! Isn’t it just awful?” squealed Lilie delightedly as she met them.<br/>“What is awful?” asked Duck, slightly confused. She checked her clock, just in case it was far later than she had feared. No, it was definitely still half nine.<br/>“Hey Duck what’s the craic?” Pique turned to Lilie, “won’t say stuff like that Lilie, you’ll scare the poor eejit. She doesn’t know what’s going on on a good day.”<br/>“What’s awful?” repeated Duck, slightly louder, hoping that one of the two girls would answer.<br/>“Someone’s phoned up the school and said there was a bomb,” said Pique carefully.<br/>“So we’d thought we would take the chance to skip school for the day!” added Lilie.<br/>“Yeah, they were moving everyone to the assembly hall. A bit silly if you ask me. Honestly they should have just sent us all home. They give us enough homework anyway… You okay Duck?”<br/>Duck nodded. <br/>“Yeah I’m fine. It’s just a bit scary isn’t it?”<br/>“Definitely, but… on the other hand, free day off! Want to join us?”<br/>“We’re going down to Wilson’s to grab a bun and a tea if you want to join!”<br/>Duck turned to the gates and contemplated the offer. She was falling behind a bit… But with the ways things were, they wouldn’t be doing any work done anyway. They’d probably just be sitting in the assembly hall all day until it was time to go home. <br/>“Okay! I’ll come with you!”<br/>“Great! Now lets shift before we get caught leaving the school! Your Granda’s okay writing us all notes again?”<br/>“Is that why you two asked me to come along?”<br/> “Possibly.”<br/>“I imagine so. He’s always so disappointed when I actually follow the rules. I think he’s some kind of… what’s the word?”<br/>“Lunatic?”<br/>“I do not know, but anywho I imagine that would be fine.”<br/>A/N<br/>So yeah. One of my weirdest memories from when I was wee was when I went into school one day with my Granny and I ran upstairs and no one was there so I started to play with all the musical instruments and stuff. A few minutes later my Granny came up and took me out to the local bakery to get buns and a five-alive instead of going into school. It turns out there was a bomb scare and the schools reaction was to stick everyone into the secondary school’s assembly hall and do school there. I’m glad I got the day off instead.  Obviously everyone’s a little older here. Was going to continue this particular one on a bit, but honestly cannot be arsed.<br/>These are so short, but they help me get out of my writers block and it's fun imagining the characters in incredibly mundane situations. Next I'll probably have them go to Barry's or making fifteens or scones or something.</p>
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